Don't Hold Back Your Feelings.

When I saw these words on someone's profile in fb, the first thought that came to me was one of my friends', let's call him F. F was a cancer patient, but he never informed his family about his illness. And one fine(?) morning, F died. His wife and kids were shocked and so were his kith and kin, no one was bale to comfort the other. I wish he had said about it to his family and friends, so that we could have seen it coming and prepare for it. May be F must have waited for a chance to tell them, but never got the chance. Or may be he must have thought, why worry the people who love me a lot. His intentions were good, but the result was bad - his wife was mentally broken for a long time.

Dear friends, if you have got anything to tell your loved ones, please don't postpone it. Make your love known (as Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) have said, proclaim your love to whom you love), and share your troubles. Even if they can't help you, they can pray for you.

There was a Boy ‘n a Girl,

They were best friends for years ‘n years,
They could Talk for hours on the Phone ‘n text each other for days,
When They were Together;
Not a single Sad Thought could cross their Minds,
everything was Great, But One Day;The Boy did not Answer any Call or Reply to any Text for a Day,
The Girl was worried that something was Wrong..
at night She couldn’t Sleep.., She was sitting in her Room Crying,
‘n It was then that She Realized how much He Means to Her..?

The next Morning;
She woke Up from a Phone call.., It was the Boy..

Boy : Hey..,
Girl : Im so glad that you Called Me, What happened to you yesterday ??
Boy : I was Busy
[ The GIRL Understood that;
Something was Wrong but could not Ask]

[silence]

Boy : You know..; We should Stop talking..!
Girl: What??.., But Why ??
Boy: I am Sorry, Bye..!

[He Disconnected the call, 'n She Felt as If Somebody
had Slammed the door on Her face]

Everything else Flashed in Her Mind,
Tears :’(
Cars running by Her..
Roof of some building..’n Sunset..
She couldn’t understand anything..
She started Feeling Lonely, Dejected, ‘n broken..:’(

That was the answer to everything! His words were pouncing on her..
Her heart wanted to jump out!

He was the One..! “Why..??”
She Screamed at the Top of her Voice;
Then She made up Her Mind to make a last Try to get Him Back..!

[She called Him Up]
Girl: hi…
Boy: Why are you calling Me?
Girl: I need to tell you Something..
Boy: Go Ahead.
Girl: I Just Wanted You to know one thing before we stopped talking!
Boy: Tell me..!

Girl: Are you All right?
[She broke off..!
She tried but may be he doesn't really Care about Her,
She Thought!
She wasn't His friend in the first Place...
Tears were slowly running Worst
She left the House with a Note..!

[5 hours later]

Phone Rang in the Boy’s Room,
It was the Girl’s Mum,
The girl was lying in the hospital, Got hit by a Car, :’(
The Boy rushed to the Hospital where She was.

She Opened Her Eyes with the Boy’s name..,
He took her Hand..

Boy: Im so Sorry Its all my fault..! But;
I promise when U get better I’ll make It up to You..

Girl: I wont get Better..
Boy: No..! No Don’t say that..
Girl: just tell me one thing Why did you do it?

Boy told her that He had a Heart problem ‘n
he did not want her to be worried;
‘n there was a risk that he could have Died..!

Boy: I did that because I…..I…..I Love you..?
Girl : I LOVE YOU TOO..?

‘n After That her heart Stopped Beating…:O
She Died..! :’(
The Boy died 10 mins later from a Heart Attack..:’(

He could not live with the thought that;
She died Because of Him.. :’(

-Moral (my own words)
If You Love Someone…;
Then Don’t Hold Back Your Feelings…
because Love is The Reason to Live..!
Love is Beautiful Live with This Feeling

Insha Allah

You know what, I read this article in a magazine and found it very interesting. I never knew what exactly fate meant until I read this. Some thoughts from the article: Allah has given man the power to decide anything. He can think and plan his deeds. He can chose between the right or wrong, chose between likes and dislikes and chose anything he want. He has been given the complete control over his brains. But when it comes to action, or his deed, it depends on the place and time (or scientifically, the four co-ordinates). Men do not have any control over the place and time. Only Allah has. So you can plan to fly to the stars tomorrow, you can take a dive in the ocean to see its underground wealth. But you cannot put it into action until and unless Allah has decided to do so. So when you plan to do something and say, “I’ll do it”, you may be wrong. Sometimes you will never be able to do it. But instead if you use, Insha Allah, or ‘if Allah wills’, it means you have decided to do something and since the complete control of time and place is with Allah, you cannot put you decision into action- you need His consent to do it. So Fate or Qadr means the control of place and time by Allah.

ABC's I'm grateful for.

I got this idea from Amalia's blog. Its been a month since I started drafting this post. Some alphabets proved very tough, like U, V, Y and Z. Some where very easy, I never needed a second thought, like A, B, C, D, H and M. Some of them may not be my first choices and I might have left some of the great things I'm really grateful for. 




A for Aisha. My little love, who brought a light to my life. I don’t have to think again.

[caption id="attachment_595" align="alignright" width="204" caption="Aisha"][/caption]

B for my Brothers. They are my biggest assets.

C for Chicken. Crazy about it. Hubby says he can see my mouth watering when I see a live hen/cock in the premises.

D for Dad, without whom I won’t have reached where I’m now.

E for Engineers. They made the world such a wonderful place to live in.

F for Family and friends. Do I need a reason for this?

G for Google. There is nothing I don’t know if I have got a Google search with me.

H for Hubby. Love for Life.

I for In-laws, they are the greatest you can ever have. Espicially my sisters-in-law.

J for Jokes. I love them and can’t live a day without a good laugh.

K for Kittens - here a meow, there a meow, everywhere a meow meow!! What fun it would be!

L for Liberty, I don’t know how to live without freedom, my birthright.

M for Mom and Memories. Blessed I am to have such a wonderful person in my life. Memories makes me smile and weep in my solitude.

N for my Niece and Nephew. Love you a lot kids!

O for Optimism. I’m optimistic that ultimately truth will prevail. I don’t have to worry about it.

P for Prayers. Prayers guide me and give me strength. They make me optimistic.

Q for Qur’an. I love pondering over its words.

R for Rainbow – Muhammed. I have something to look forward to.

S for Social networks. I got in touch with so many of my lost friends and far away relatives.

T for Technology and Teachers. Both have put their share in building up my life.

U for UAE, my second home.

V for Violet. I love that color.

W for Water – to have a cool or hot shower after a busy day! I think I need one now, just at the thought of the shower.

X for X-chromosome. Women – heart full of love and kindness, patience is her synonym, and sacrifice is her destiny.  May be I’m a feminist ‘coz I believe that the world would have been better if it was controlled by women!

Y for Youthfulness at my heart. I never grow old.

Z for Zinnia – its more than a flower to me, and the reason is a secret. Ssshhhh….

[caption id="attachment_592" align="aligncenter" width="201" caption="Zinnia"][/caption]

In the end, Alhamdulillah, O! Thank You Allah, for everything.

Eid Mubarak

[caption id="attachment_582" align="aligncenter" width="418" caption="Eid Mubarak"][/caption]

Ramadan Kareem.

Today's Gulf News Tabloid's cover page caption is: Switch On... Your Guide to the hottest Post-Iftar shows on TV this Ramadan.

So you fast full day, without even a sip of water, and as soon as you break your fasting, get your remote, switch on the TV and get the hottest shows! Isn't that the most 'spiritual' way to end your fasting? No wonder the condition of Muslims around the world are so pathetic!

A Ramadan Kareem to all Muslims around the world.  Let us hold the spirit of this Ramadan through out the day, week, month, year and our life.

Welcome to Ramadan

Phew.... It was a very busy weekend. With Ramadan at our doorstep, we didn't want to postpone the cleaning again. Chose Friday for the Ramadan shopping and Saturday for the cleaning. We didn't want to break the cleaning process in between, so we thought it would be better to do it on Saturday, 'coz we had Jumua prayers on Friday.

Back in India, we used to do the cleaning on Sha'abaan 15th. Its a ritual over there. Some people fast on that day, but I think that's against Prophet's (PBUH) sunnah. People clean their houses, clothes and cooking utensils and they stack the food needed for Ramadan. In remote villages, they make rice flour, corriander powder, chilly powder etc themselves. So, welcoming ramadan is a week long festival.

We started our shopping after lunch. Shopping during evenings on weekend was out of question, shoppers will be hustling over the place. So we chose a less busy time, just after lunch. You don't have to remind yourself  its ramadan, you will see it all over the place. 'Ramadan Kareem' boards hang everywhere, in parks, mosques and all public places. Ads starting with 'its Ramadan...' or 'try your luck in Ramadan...' or 'Welcome Ramadana with....' are all over the places. At the shop, there were special 'Ramadan' offer, 'Ramadan' snacks and 'Ramadan' food court. I wanted to take a ride through those special 'Ramadan' places, but due to the lack of time, Hubby refused with a big NO. Dates and drinks decorated the entrance of the shop.  Aisha was excited when she saw the colorful l-e-ds flashing and laser light dancing inside the shop. With the Ramdan so much consumerized, we didn't have to ponder over what to buy and were able to make a quick shopping. As usual, Aisha became very annoyed in her stroller by the end of the shopping. 

Saturday began earlier than any weekend begins. Started with the kitchen, where we had to clean so many shelves, throw away expired food items and change old containers with new ones etc etc. We took turns in cleaning, me and hubby doing the cleaning while hubby's brother S baby sitting Aisha, then S and hubby cleaning while me tending Aisha, and then me and S cleaning while hubby looks after Aisha. Each time I sit with I Aisha, I thought cleaning was better and when I started cleaning, I thought looking after Aisha was better. The other shore always felt greener. Aisha was thrilled, with the home no more baby proof. She slithered all around the place, and the baby sitter had a tough time! Cleaning, washing, sweeping and moping... (I'm not a Cinderella!), by noon everyone was very tired and hungry, although we had snacks in between. We ordered a chicken biriyani (cooking was already banned on cleaning day) and dug into it. S and hubby took a long nap after that, but I had much trouble to put Aisha to sleep, as she never sleeps during those hours. By 4 o'clock, she too fell asleep, after which I slept.

I thought Ramadan would arrive on Sunday, after all the work, I was like, eager to welcome Ramadan, but the night news said it would be on Monday. Well, it seems I've one more day to do the finishing works for welcoming Ramadan. Priority for washing the clothes. With much thought about fasting while lactating, I've decided to fast. I pray that everything goes fine for me and Aisha. Ameen.

When death comes unexpected.

Last Friday my cousin sister's (S) husband (H) died. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon.

That was a shocking news, because H was a young and healthy man (as far as I knew). He was a teacher.

[caption id="attachment_556" align="alignright" width="300" caption="*Cemetery"][/caption]

As expatriates, death always is a loss to us. We can never get a last glimpse of the persons who were once part and parcel of our life.  We can never be there, physically, to console the family of the deceased, who were there to share our happy and sad moments. We can never share our loss with our loved ones. We have to comfort ourselves, and bear the grief ourselves. We are alone.

Death is a double loss when it comes unexpected. Like that of H. When the old and/or sick persons die, we expect it to happen. We visit them when we go home for vacation. We know that sometimes, that will be the last time we see them. Even though it brings grief when they are gone, still, we can control ourselves a little.

On friday, after Jumu'a prayers, Hubby S came home chatting on his phone. I was putting Aisha to sleep, so I didn't ask him about the call. After Aisha slept, when I went to him, he asked me, "Do you have a cousin BIL called H?"

Me: Yes, why, what happened?

S : Your cousin P called me now. He said H died.

Me: H died? But how can that happen?

(I even forgot to say Inna lillahi... (surely to Allah we belong and to Him we return), which we say when something bad happens or when we hear a bad news, esp of death)

S : What do you mean?

(It was then I got it, H has died. Anyone can die any moment. But H... he was a young energetic man, a teacher, always active and enthusiastic. He was also an active member of the Islamic organisation, KNM or Kerala Nadvathul Mujahideen in Kerala, India. With so many humanitarian and Islamic events to organize  and with a busy academic year, he was always hustling around. I never thought he could die so fast.)

Me: Ok..., ok. What did he die of? Any illness or accident?

S : P said of some internal bleeding, he is not sure though. Better call home to get the details.

[caption id="attachment_557" align="alignleft" width="234" caption="*Muslim coffin"][/caption]

Well, death is always near to us. Just don't know who will be next. But I wish I could be there, to see the loved ones for a last time. To pray for them. To console their family.  But I'm here, sitting alone, pondering about it all. I don't know who all will leave me again. And I don't know when I'll leave them, where it will be. I don't know if they can get a last look at me. Allah knows everything.

May Allah forgive H his mistakes and gather H and us in His Jannah, Ameen.

 

* Photos for illustrative purpose only. Photo courtesy: Google.